Everything changes in the blink of an eye. Im feeling nostalgic i guess and im lonesome for old times. I miss last summer. I miss the community of friends in herb school and i miss friends that were so adventurous who have now moved away. This is a new chapter in my life so i know i will create new wonderful memories, and have loads of new adventures this summer but im getting emotional about it lately. Ive found myself daydreaming about the feelings and friendships, listening to all the music that reminds me of the time and really just being way to sentimental. This is who i am though. I know its sick but maybe i kind of like wallowing in my memories and making myself sad. Maybe its healing to me in some strange way. Maybe im rambling 😦

I want to move on and create new times and memories instead of trying to re-create my past. Im having a baby in August. If i think things are different know i guess i should do a reality check because things are going to be very different when this baby comes! As for being positive Im trying to focus on the baby and making plans for hikes and waterfalls and plants. I think this winter is just sucking the life out of me and giving me to much time to think. To top it off we had this amazing spring weathered day on Sunday and i went on a 6 mile hike and saw 3 waterfalls, i played ball outside with Rupert until he couldn’t chase the ball anymore and just soaked up all the sun i possibly could. I was glowing. It was amazing, and i realized how much of a toll winter takes on my emotions and how i live and think. I need to be able to escape the winter here and go somewhere tropical next year. I love it here but this is just to much to take sometimes.

sorry for the depressing post, i needed to vent

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